skinny people are (WAY) better at life
renrenee

i am a picture of misery

i gained 2 lbs last i checked

all my oldest friends are moving up and on and away and having lovely happy lives that dont involve me and pretty much repel me

i feel so shit

its unbelievable

i'm off to try not to cry myself to sleep

i'm too emotionally exausted to exercise

which means i'll wake fatter than i went to sleep


skinny people are better at life
renrenee
this is my summer fucking vacation and i've spent all of the day so far watching couples thinspo on youtube and i'm just making myself depressed
no one wants me cause i'm fucking fat as fuck
i hate myself.

Red Bracelets - because i always wish i had someone to talk to here
renrenee

I found this on another site. i think its super


IFOF is a term that means "identification friend or foe" most commonly used in the aircraft industry. It is a thing on an airplane that tells people reading the signal if they are a friend or foe. We now have a system of our own. I got this from another site: Have you ever wondered if the skinny girl you see has an ED (A or M)? And proud of it? You so desperately want to ask, or even try to make friends but are scared? Well, no more ... since we have our ribbon "Ana is a lifestyle..." and its red.

I propose that we all get a red beaded bracelet. You can make it or buy them. Wear it daily or when you go out to secretly say that you are proud to be pro-ana or proud to have an ED that is. Anytime you see someone wearing a red beaded bracelet, capture their eye contact and point to your bracelet, and if they return the same point to theirs ... then they are ED friendly. If not, then its just someone whom is wearing one.

As for those who are older and feel silly wearing a beaded bracelet, wear a red t-shirt every Monday or when you go out on Mondays.

 

Please pass this along to every proED clubs, forums, websites (secrets/public) for we need to be known widespread secretly amongst us. So, copy/paste everyone!!!

 



popcorn. apple
renrenee
thats  what i ate today
its like 3:40 in the afternoon. i wont eat anything else. i wont eat anything else i wont eat anything else
i really need to lose more weight i feel like i'm stuck

no buts
no more cheating = no more eating
i've been purging a lot lately but i really want to stop
i think

please tell me not to, please
renrenee
so
i CANT eat for a week . i cant if i do i'll die.  or something. i'm just going to live off cigarettes and self pity. i hate to look at myself. i keep gaining and losing the same wieght and whats worse: some bitch told me i looked like i was losing weight.
dont fucking mock me.
fuck my life.
i'm such a fat ass. i really thought i could lose 8lbs this week but it turns out i'm a faliure.

so
please tell me not to eat , i just want to fast for seven days.

why cant we lie peacefully at night...
renrenee

down 7 lbs
soooo happy about it
but i'm still really disgusting
my parents are off my back cause i'm vegan now
which i'm also happy about
and i'm going to the gym tomorrow. also good

decided that 8lbs from now i'll start the ABC diet
Day 1: 500 calories (or less)
Day 2: 500 calories (or less)
3: 300 calories
4: 400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: Fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: Fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: Fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800 calories
32: Fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: Fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: Fast

^like that
i'm so glad i'm making progress
but i havent heard from my ana buddy in a while and i get worried. its wierd i dont think that anything awful could happen to me dispite the purging and whatnot
but i worry so much about others. wierd
(oh and i've been watching 90210. great thinspo all the shallow characters are really fashionable and thin)


oh
another thing
chest pains and insomnia. i get the latter more than anything but idk what to do about either really


deja vu...
renrenee

this might not interest anyone but i get deja vu a lot
and i mean A LOT
its actually pretty annoying because its become so mundane

but toda i had a really good one
and its significant because i'm 100% sure it means a turning point in my weightloss and therefore my life and future happiness

my mood just went from like -3000 to like 20

"i'm so happy cause today i found my friends.  their my head. i'm so ugly but thats okay cause so are you. we broke our mirrors." ~ nirvana



(no subject)
renrenee
god. i cant make this wanting to cry feeling go away
i dont know what to do
all i can think to fix is not eating
but i alreayd fucked that up
then i purge and i'm back to the wanting to cry
god
why

i dont understand this
i dont understand me

i do know that i'm suddenly feeling a lot lonelier than usual...

whats the point of trying to dream anymore
renrenee
i'm still fat
i'm so fat
soo fucking fat
and i dont know what i'm trying for sometimes
i'll bever be the me that i want to be

bones are beautiful
renrenee

so i had pizza and salad
fuck
i hate people. i want to distance myself from them. just go to a deserted island and starve myself in peace

so thats like an insane amount of calories and i literally feel sick
i feel like my body desperately wants me to purge. i felt nauseated and now i just i want to purge so goddamn bad
but there was more blood last time so i wont

fuck
fuck.fuck.fuck.

i took a shitload of laxatives and i guess their already working so i cant really say much except that i'm totally fucked
i hate myself right now



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